Weak or ignorant?

After reading my cousin, Gary's post here about the ignorance or attitude that has now become the norm in Brunei. Its quite sad and I think he made a good point that there are people that are in much need of medical resources and do take precautions and its a shame that people think the government will be there to save them.

I have another story which has been bugging me for the past few days since I heard it. Someone announced at the weekend that she was 2 months pregnant. Now while this is usually good news, this time it was in my opinion not so because this happened for all the wrong reasons. Before this lady got married, she was dating her husband for about 8 years. Before they decided to get married, she found out that he was cheating on her. To assure her that he didnt want to lose her and that she was his choice etc, they got married. (Note: At this point, it is already very wrong and warning bells should have sounded instead of wedding bells)

After a year of marriage, she started suspecting that he was having an affair again. When she confronted him earlier this year, he did not deny it. He even said "There is nothing I can do if someone wants me". I would have kicked him out of the house at this point. As a government servant, she got cheap housing and was paying the rent and the household bills. I did not see any reason to keep a man like this at that point, eventhough they had been together so long. However she felt it was a waste and persevered to try and make things work though she did seriously think about a divorce but was concerned about how the respective families would take it.

I learnt a couple of weeks ago that they had started sleeping in separate rooms so I was gobsmacked when I heard she was pregnant and she was telling us that this would save her marriage and he has said he would change for the better etc. I however think its a bad idea cos he said he would change before the marriage and yet he didnt. If this falls apart again then there is the extra complication of the child if anything happens and the child will be an innocent victim of his father's infidelities. Plus how can you sleep with this man knowing he has been shagging some other gal when he's married to you?!!

The reason why I've told this story is this. Some people think that maybe the wife does not want to go through the humiliation of a divorce and therefore 'save face'. Divorces are actually becoming more common nowadays. Thanks to the late Nancy Kwan's case, the Dissolution of Marriage Act was set up allowing non-Muslims to get divorced. I'm not saying I encourage it but in situations like this, I think that would actually be the best way forward.

I think the wife would actually suffer more humiliation by sticking with a husband who cant keep his **** in his pants and have people laugh or sympathise at her for her situation. I would rather be free of such a b#@%&!* and find someone I can be truly happy with be be loyal to me.

Am I being mean or selfish to think this way? Would you have let it go so far?

(P.S. I still think her getting pregnant is the wrong thing to do. Maybe I should ask her to listen to Gloria Gaynor's " I Will Survive")